Wednesday, May 22, 2013


As an anthropologist, it is important for me to understand THINGS AS THEY ARE, and to compare it with “Things As Others Say They Are”.  In the spirit of this, let us look at a few things, and think critically about them.

First, there is there is blogger guy that says Christians are black magicians.  Interesting idea.  Never considered it before, but I decided to See What Is There.  Now remember.  I’m going to look at this as if I have never before in my life looked at these symbols or heard anything about Christianity beside what I can observe from one visit to a typical church on the East Coast, and a few quick looks at the literature provided, and maybe a question or two of people I see in the parking lot. 

Here is what I see.

First, the location.  Lots of churches are surrounded by graveyards, aka dead people.  Skulls in fact.  Hmmm.  I never really thought about it much before, but don’t you think it is strange to have a place of worship surrounded by rotting corpses?  I mean, if it was a castle on a hill surrounded by graves, you would be terrified.  But somehow a church on the same hill surrounded by the same graves doesn’t terrify you?

Next, the symbol.  There is this fella nailed to some sticks prominently displayed at the front of the church.  He is skinny, bleeding and looks like he is in quite a lot of pain.  Strange symbol for a religion professing life, love and gentleness, don’t you think? 

So.  Tortured guy to look at while you pray on your knees and dead people surrounding the building you worship in.  

How about their practices? -- the most revealing of all, in my opinion.

A fella in a black dress says some words and transforms wine and bread into the literal body and blood of Christ. “Is that really blood and muscles?” I ask the woman beside me.   “Yes, it is.  It might not taste that way, but you really are eating those things.” “And why do you do this?”  “It’s important if you want to go to Heaven.” Wow! Now, I’m working hard to be a good anthropologist, but honest to God this is the explanation I was given by a priest to whom I posed this question.  I’m thinking I’d really rather sit down to a squirming bowl of wichity-grubs right about now. I saw everyone line up for the event.  Is this who Heaven is filled with? 

In short, these guys are telling me that in order to live forever in the presence of elevated beings, a place of love and forgiveness I have to kneel in a building surrounded by dead bodies and pray to a suffering, nay, dying guy while eating human flesh and drinking blood I’d tell you -- you are absolutely and with out a doubt completely insane.

You know, our language has words for people who eat other people and for people who drink blood.  So who eats human flesh and drinks blood?  Zombies and Vampires.  Yikes!  Maybe Zombie-Vampires?  Or Vampire-Zombies? This isn’t scary?

I am afraid of cannibals, and those who would drink the blood of others.  I mean, aren’t these some of the most damning accusations leveled at witches and the magical practitioners of non-western societies?  How many horror stories are there about Cannibals in the Pacific?  Tribal people with bones in their nose waiting to barbecue people or drink their blood?  And yet every day, in Catholic churches across the world, people line up ON THEIR KNEES LIKE PRISONERS in a building surrounded by corpses to have some guy in a black dress shove human flesh dipped in blood in their mouths.  Egad.  Is it any wonder tribal people thought missionaries were insane?

I am really surprised that these realizations of THINGS AS THEY ARE haven’t occurred to more people.  I mean, aren’t these the things that Christians are so fond of accusing others of?  And telling us over and over how evil these practices are?  Is this another case of “the one who smelt it dealt it”?

Scientists in general and Anthropologists in particular put aside their pre-conceived notions about the could’s, should’s, oughta’s and used-to’s of the world to look at what is happening around them as though they were seeing it for the very first time.  While difficult, it is absolutely necessary if one is to truly understand the world in which you live.

I am sure there are those who will call me a Reductionist.  They will say I’m Flaming, or a Liar, or many other Such Names as one calls those who point out Uncomfortable Truths.  But really…

Don’t you see it? 

1 comment:

  1. Bwahahaha! I love your view here. I couldn't agree more. Why would I want to worship some bleeding dead guy hanging on a cross? Eat flesh and blood and try to get out of this lovely, challenging life we have by going to "heaven"? To then, wear an un-fashionable white robe and sing praises to some old guy?